Chapter 57: WEAK
Cindy suggested we have a meal at the little Veggie restaurant in Saints East. The place seemed nice enough with only a few slight pretentiousness about its do-gooder attitude. Cindy explained there were no prices on the chalkboard menu, because at the end of the meal there was a small donation box to let you decide the meals exact worth, locals gave extra to keep the place running, while surrounding businesses hated the scruffy clientele downgrading their surgically pristine overpriced Cafés. We decided to share a Japanese Omelette and Vegetarian Paella. ‘How I’d always imagined a dinner with her.’ “So you are leaving for the West next week?” Cindy toyed with her food. “Yeah. I’m not so sure about how to get the money.” I took a sip of wine. “Maybe a few labor jobs on the way.” ”I haven’t been anywhere since my dad died of cancer.” She looked indifferent as the words hung between the kitchen sizzle. “Yeah, well the most I’ve been overseas is Tazzie!” She smirked. “You should go to Europe one day?” Taking another sip at her wine. “I know… just can’t seem to escape Oz and of course… money.” “But you’ve been all over the place before you came to Melbourne.” Cindy shook her head referring to my Gypsy odyssey from last year. “That was just the eastern seaboard. I bet you’ve been to the same places on school trips.” ‘I could tell her I was just running away.’ The plates of food served, the candle flickered against the dark lacquered Jarrah table while I tried to concentrate, but everything felt redundant. SMS: Miss U :) lol Kym”Is that your lover?” I put the mobile away in Lieu of Cindy’s words. “I had a dream about you.” I chewed into the crisp omelet feeling the subject catch her for a second. ‘You could never tell.’ “It wasn’t bad or anything. It was just a dream.” “What was it about?” Cautiously holding the glass to her lips. “I was in a shopping mall, in a small town… Like near where we first met at my Dad's church.” She nodded in memory of simpler times. “You were shopping and we sat at a table, it felt like summer and we were having Iced tea...or something.” “I was having iced tea?” She nibbled at the Omlet. “Yes. And you started the conversation with something like ‘I have to tell you something really important.’ And I asked you what it was? To which you followed with ‘I’m a Lesbian.’ And I was happy for you. I then said something stupid like ‘cool’… and that was it.” “You said cool?” She followed, still looking for something relatable. “Really…” Her poise building its own uncomfortable response.“You're probably just remembering that story I told you about when I was in that all girls boarding school. You’ve met Sandra… the one over in England doing nursing with Ken. You know Ken? The gay one of the twins from High school.” Frowning at my inability to recall. “You know? Jackie’s friend…Are you hungry?…I’m not that hungry?” Cindy pushed her plate towards the table's center and looked at the beardy waiter. “Sorry I’m new here.” He fumbled along enjoying his theatrical mistakes, rubbing his temples with obvious pain to learn a new job instead of lying in dog piss and shooting up. We both smirked at the waiter's charming antics of dropping cutlery while attempting to balance the half finished plates all the way to the kitchen. “I can’t believe I’m going out West.” “Cool.” She imitated my dreams in response to her new sexuality. I let out a smile as the ice between us began to solidify. ‘Now mutually further away from each other… Soon It will be geographic.’ We sat drinking the remainder of the wine for the sake of it. “Do you want dessert?” Noticing she’d lost interest in the remainder of our conversation. “No I’m good, just excuse me for a minute.” She walked to the back of the shop into the Ladies room. I leaned back observing the other couples eat in peaceful adoration of each other until their plates were clean and placed more than usual money in the small box. ‘Pay what you think its worth.’ Scribbled neatly on each plywood box the words surrounded with biro flowers and peace symbols. ‘Is this environmental narcissism… or maybe just one way of proving life can be different?’ “Was the meal okay? Would you like anything more?” The volunteer asked, seemingly more relaxed after his cigarette break. “I’m just waiting…for…” Cindy resumed her seat. “I’ll have a coffee and…?” Motioning her response. “I’ll just have a Green tea thanks.” She didn’t look at me for a while, appearing to fidget and straighten every piece of clothing and hair. Her cheeks flushed and lips offset against her usually pallid complexion. “Are you okay?” “Yes, fine! Just a bit hot, must have been the spices in the Paella?” It was hard watching someone puke their food to stay thin for whatever reason she had. ‘That must be life’s confusion by design. Loves infectious loss and all the world's weight within it… What is…Just… What is … and that is it.’